26 December 2008

South Eastern Idaho Snow Angel Festival

or something.

My mom's mom was diagnosed with Leukemia in March of 2002. The doctor gave her 6 months to live.
He clearly did not know my Grandma. There is something to be said about denial.
(In fact my neighbor, who has been a very close friend to my family since before i was born, was diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live. About 7 years later, he'd finally had enough)

I got my mission call in May. Taiwan, Tai Zhong.
On my birthday in June, i was returning a book to a neighbor when they invited me to go with them across the country to see the Nauvoo temple--and 8 others. Why not!?
I don't think i saw Grandma out of the hospital that whole summer. but,boy! did we laugh a lot reminiscing with her!
My mom told us we needed to pay attention to her button-pushing for medication, because we would have to do that for her someday... my sister's reply was, "No, mom, we're going to have to climb the mountain and find the pieces of you, when you go!" That's my MOM!!
I will be surprised if i go any differently

I entered the MTC on September 18th. the night before, i was set apart and my fam--including my Grams and my Uncle Dan, and several cousins-- we were settling down, and finishing the night at my parentals casa. As i talked to my Grandma, i knew it would be the last time i would see her in this world. It seems so much sadder now. I realize that she also knew it would be the last time she would see me. I love my Grandma. She's the only grandparent i've ever known, and life truly does seem a little emptier without her.
Every Christmas Eve we went to her house for Christmas dinner, and games and to open some presents. She always put her tree on her living room table, where her lamp usually was. I always loved the angel she put on top.
When my cousin got married, in November, they sent me pictures. Grandma was stunning in blue. :)
In January, I got a call from my Mission President letting me know Grandma kicked it. She was on terminal patient pain killers, and was hilarious to the last! A little off her rocker, but funny!
Best of all, HAH! ...we've been estranged from my grandpa for years. He was wretched to my mom growing up, unfaithful to my Grandmother, and forced my aunt into a less-than-healthy marriage so that he could finally walk away. ...HAH!! My mom was sitting with my Grandma--she had moved in, to take care until the last moment--holding her hand and talking her through the end of her bitterness for her ex-husband. Ironically, it was his birthday! Jan 11. Mom told her, "today is his birthday, if you really want to get back at him for good, you could go today." HAH!!!! (i have a rather morbid sense of humor...) And she did!!
"like which fury, hell hath no" ?
I came home in April.
i really don't like funerals, i haven't been to one in a very long time, so it all worked out just fine. My MTC roomies and i had sung "the lord is my Shepherd" on a tape and i sent it home. they played it at her graveside service. so i was there. kind of.
Every Christmas that i've been in IF we've gone out to where she's buried in Shelley, and give her snow angels!
my Aunt thinks it's obscene, but i think Grandma likes it.
I love my Grandma.

25 December 2008

It must be Christmas.

Since last Thursday, we've had about 2 feet of snow, easily.
I don't think i've seen that much in a while!

It sounds like more if i say 24 inches in the last week...

In fact! I tried to take my beautiful Beast to my sisters house to commandeer my nephews bed (he isn't using it and i need one). The burban doesn't have 4 wheel drive!!! It took me a long time to get out of the driveway, and then i almost didn't make it up the street!
And i certainly didn't make it to my sisters house!!
I can't believe my muse, my love doesn't have 4wheel drive!!!
it's a suburban!!!
I feel betrayed!

Not only did we use Jimmy to get my bed, i fit the rest my stuff in there to haul it down to my new house!
My burban let me down. That's ok. This love is an endless love. there will be other burbans. ones with 4 wheel drive. i have better relationships with cars, anyway.

That was Christmas Eve, by the by. And it was spent in a car, unloading schtuff, and waiting at the airport for Mommy's plane to land. Christmas dinner was *laughing* Denny's. We got home just before midnight, and i slept until 2 this afternoon!
roads were closed today because of all the snow and wind, so i haven't seen any other family, either!
needless to say, it does NOT feel like Christmas, to me.
maybe tomorrow.
maybe when we get each other gifts, or go give Grandma snow angels.

15 December 2008

A Mark, a Mission, a Brand, a Scar

I'm moving to South Jordan. I've been in need of moving on, and I just don't feel like I can do it while i'm living at home. I've been interviewing, and I have a place to stay (at this point, they would all be disappointed if i didn't move in!) and it really just feels right to be here.
I've never been very career oriented, so this company i've been interviewing with feels a little restrictive, but i absolutely love what they are about. Which is financial services, emphasis on service.

I want to get my fashion certificate at SLCC--somehow i just feel this intense draw to Salt Lake City. Maybe after that i'll go for a masters in SF. I know what a want to pursue, i'm not sure what i'd do with it.... does it matter?!?! (well, yes, but i'm too exhausted to think about that, right now....)

i'm thinking i might go back to IF and work for a little bit--while i don't have to pay food and rent... we'll see.

and that's my update

04 December 2008

All things Jimmy

In honor of K & J's first addition, these are other jimmys and james in my life

GMC Jimmy
"Jimmy Thing" dave matthews
"So Long, Jimmy" James Blunt (that's 2)
i recently discovered that i actually DO like Jimmy Eat World. My current fav is "bleed american"
my uncle Jim
There's a Jimmy John's sandwhich place by Biolife that i would like to try

hm. that's a lot less than i thought.

jimmy stewart
jimmy hoffa
jimmy mahoney
jimmy thakery
jimmy vivino
james dean
james (the band)
james oliver
the Book of James
say james enough and it sounds... jay'mz-y
james and the Giant peach

that's all

29 November 2008


I'm so excited!!! He was born this morning at o-dark-thirty (12:14am)!!!

James Gary. Harray!!!

Huzzah for little Jimmy!!!

wow. i haven't written in a while...

... that's all

17 November 2008

Have you, or have you not?

I have done the things in red.

1. Started your own blog 2. Slept under the stars 3. Played in a band 4. Visited Hawaii 5. Watched a meteor shower 6. Given more than you can afford to charity 7. Been to Disneyland 8. Climbed a mountain 9. Held a praying mantis 10. Sang a solo 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch 15. Adopted a child 16. Had food poisoning 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. 18. Grown your own vegetables 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France 20. Slept on an overnight train 21. Had a pillow fight 22. Hitch hiked 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 24. Built a snow fort 25. Held a lamb 26. Gone skinny dipping 27. Run a Marathon 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice 29. Seen a total eclipse 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset 31. Hit a home run . 32. Been on a cruise 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person 34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 35. Seen an Amish community 36. Taught yourself a new language 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person 39. Gone rock climbing 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David 41. Sung karaoke 42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant 44. Visited Africa 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight 46. Been transported in an ambulance 47. Had your portrait painted 48. Gone deep sea fishing 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling 52. Kissed in the rain 53. Played in the mud 54. Gone to a drive-in theater 55. Been in a movie or on a TV show 56. Visited the Great Wall of China 57. Started a business 58. Taken a martial arts class 59. Visited Russia 60. Served at a soup kitchen 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies 62. Gone whale watching 63. Got flowers for no reason 64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma 65. Gone sky diving 66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp 67. Bounced a check 68. Flown in a helicopter 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial 71. Eaten Caviar 72. Pieced a quilt. 73. Stood in Times Square 74. Toured the Everglades 75. Been fired from a job 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London 77. Broken a bone 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person 80. Published a book 81. Visited the Vatican 82. Bought a brand new car 83. Walked in Jerusalem 84. Had your picture in the newspaper 85. Read the entire Bible 86. Visited the White House 87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 88. Had chickenpox 89. Saved someone’s life 90. Sat on a jury 91. Met someone famous 92. Joined a book club 93. Lost a loved one 94. Had a baby 95. Seen the Alamo in person 96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake 97. Been involved in a law suit 98. Owned a cell phone 99. Been stung by a bee

thanks, Whit, that was fun and kind of enlightening.

13 November 2008

the camel faces south

So, i got a 30 day deferral from the plasma center - yes, i'm a little miffed about it - and decided i'd go take pictures of the fantastic clouds that were happening.

Not bad!

I found myself driving around in the posh neighborhoods, up on the bench. All of those roads lead out into the foothills somewhere.

I found this little guy, put the Jimmy in 4 wheel drive, and grinned all the way out of site of the houses.

I didn't drive to the end of it, though i desperately wanted to - Jimmy was at less than a quarter of a tank. I jumped out, ran down the road a ways, and took some pictures. It was SOOOO SOO windy! Ooh, and all i could hear was the wind rushing through the grass. There wasn't too much sagebrush. This is a very good thing. I hate sagebrush.

so, i got my pictures.

But, as i was walking back to Jimmy, i noticed ... something.

see that dark-ish patch of color in the middle? It was lava rocks (igneous, if you will) they're all over the area, sure. But these little guys were hiding out here, pretty much isolated. (of course, i gather from the incredible force of the wind that dirt and debris and been brought in, and the rocks eroded) blah.

it wasn't that far, was it?
i HAD to take a closer look!
i needed to go play on those rocks!

Heh! it took a solid half hour to walk out there. it was not a flat, easy stroll, either. from where i'm standing in this picture, it goes straight down. it was beautiful! The terrain was so variant, and completely awesome!!
here are a few more shots of what it really looked like when i got there:

I climbed all over those rocks :D

(don't worry, mom, i was completely safe at all times)

see, it's not that far to fall any way.

I was as a wild child reared by mountain goats.
and there was NO ONE around! i went up the cliff and down the cliff, in and around the columnar joints...
i found a strange little cave. there were lots of little caves, but this one was quite strange.

do you see the honey-comb-y thing in there?
do bees inhabit this cave? did someone just shove a discarded filter into the hole?
at any rate, i did not stick my hand in there.
i'm crazy, but i'm not stupid. and it was cold and windy - couldn't keep my hair out of my face...

HAHA!! there is a line in the movie Gattaca.
...The two brothers would race each other swimming. i'm thinking it was the ocean, but it's been long enough, i'm not positive. ...any way someone asks the kid how he did something super-duper athletically cardiovascularly awesome. he tells them that he never saved any for the way back.

see, the swimming thing. see, his brother would always beat him or something....
but the kid, he gave it all he had. his heart got stronger, blah, blah, blah - he's a stellar astronaut.

Ever climb up a cliff without giving any thought as to how you're going to get down? Ever hiked a trail without knowing where it goes? Ever bounded off across the hills toward a magical rock place without thinking about how far it would be to walk back?

Jimmy is the spec dead center on the horizon.
HAH!! it actually wasn't that bad. totally worth it.

and there was my little friend, when i got back.

and there was my little city.

And the buttes out to the west.
The camel faces south.

11 November 2008

new developments

i was talking to a friend of mine. she's living with her parents, too. getting restless, too. has a degree in clothing design, too. wants to move to Salt Lake, too.

you see where this is going?

yeah, me too.

stand by for more information

so, i don't write about day to day things

that would be because i don't do anything. really.
mondays i donate plasma and go to branch FHE
tuesdays i have choralaires rehearsal. sometimes i'm not late.
thursdays i have choralaires and i donate plasma. sometimes i go to "class" or institute, or just watch movies with my friend, Dawn (we're doing in on wednesday this week!!)
friday... maybe i make sure i'm prepared for sunday lessons... make phone calls...
saturday ... yeah, there again. trying desperately to come up with things to do.
sunday! meetings, church, singing, dinner... loaf. occasional game night.

i have plenty of books to read--i borrowed about 7 from my sister in law about 2 months ago. i have not finished a single one. in my defense, i have picked up two of them, and read significantly.
my bedroom is always in need of being cleaned, i have enough sewing projects to keep me busy for months...
i just don't feel that motivated.

i must be honest with you, i don't feel particularly inspired to be writing, but my last few posts have been far too short and exceptionally lame-ish.

I spent the weekend in Fairfield, Id. My little sister and her husband live out there. They had their primary program and Kiki asked if i would come sing "I am a Child of God" in Chinese. Yipee!!! singing!! chinese!!! YES!!! i'm in, i'm in, i'm in in in innnnnnnnn.
Fairfield is like.... little house on the prairie.
let me enumerate the things to do:

i rode Ike's bike around for about a half hour. it took me that long to drive up and down every street, and even head out of town toward Soldier.
Soldier is a township that used to exist.
Don't get me wrong, if you love to hunt, fish, or camp you're living large. Actually, if you don't hunt or fish you have to drive an hour and a half to Jerome for groceries....
i saw the library <shudder>
i happen to know there are computers in there, so i wasn't sure how there was room for books. or computers, actually...

in the picture, where black line 20 and black line 46 make a "t," that's where Fairfield is. Notice the picture represents about 65 square miles, and that Camas county only takes up about half that. if you checked the link, Fairfield is the only city in the county. out of about 900 people living in the county, less than a third of them live in Fairfield. Have a great time, Kiki and Ike!

i am so grateful to live in a town that has a hospital, myriads of grocery stores, a fantastic library--traffic lights! we have restaurants, fast food--we have an historical downtown--law firms, banks, schools (plural), extensive city and county buildings, hotels...

ANd!! we still have the foothills to the east, island park and other wilderness areas to the north and everywhere else--a river runs through it all!!

blessed Idaho Falls! i have no great love for you, but i don't hate you, either. And i'm still moving to Salt Lake just the moment that becomes an option.

05 November 2008

If you love star wars
or a capella
or me...
(or indiana jones, in fact)

thank you, Clancy you lifted a load from my day with laughter
a lot of laughter!

02 November 2008

a word about my playlists

they are by no means comprehensive or even representative. There are artists and genres that just haven't made it in, yet.

In other words, to judge me by the music here, is to miss the mark.

to ever think you know me, if you've known me less than about three years, is to grossly underestimate me.

i'm not feeling well, and i can't sleep. though i'm feeling much better because i'm remembering to take more allergy/sinus medicine every three or so hours
where's the justice in that?

a vicious vortex of fatigue and illness

i hate it when i stay up too late, and then avoid going to bed because i know that i'm going to have a hard time getting up at a reasonable hour in the proverbial morning.
and i know i'm compounding the problem by not going to bed.
and what's worse is that i know i'm going to stay up late tomorrow as well, because i won't be tired when it's time to be tired.
and it isn't as if i HAVE to get up and go to work or be somewhere...
until Tuesday morning.
and i'm not feeling well, so i'm only making things worse
and i'm STILL avoiding getting to bed!
somebody stop the madness!!

29 October 2008

Joanna Newsom The Book of Right-On

Not all tragic events yield tragic fruits. i don't know what i mean by that.

i like music

i am open to new stuff. please recommend music.

Pictures from my camera, from the last few days

I have no idea what this horse's name was. Maybe Beau. I didn't ask questions, i just got on.
family time on Sunday

FHE, Monday night

why, yes! that is a 2007 Corvette! Yes, the actual owner of the car knew it took us for a ride.

Wednesday required a little change.

28 October 2008

wisdom at the table, prepared and served

I was sitting in a Relief Society Presidency meeting tonight, absorbed in thoughts for my RS sisters. To my right was our pres. Returned missionary and all the good things that implies, has a bachelors degree, 24 years old and getting married at the end of this month.
To my left was our secretary. She's 18 and quiet as a mouse, but i saw her show a high-spirited 16-hand horse who's boss. This was after the horse threw her once.
Across from me was our 2nd counselor. She's 22, a publicity major, sincere ambition and a beautiful heart.
I realized that i was the only at the table that was not overwhelmed, and didn't feel completely clueless. I know Relief Society. The beauty of it, the struggles, the miracles, and the necessary structure. I've been a teacher in the Relief Society, and a teacher improvement teacher. I have been responsible for coordination music, and leading.
what made this all really strike, and take on great meaning was when my sweet little horse trainer told me that she's so glad i didn't marry him, because she wouldn't have met me otherwise.
And now i sit here absorbing the great compliment in her sentiment. also, the great clue from above.
i was so needed at that table, tonight. I have a lot of experience, wisdom, love, etc. to offer. Really, young sisters who have only ever understood Relief Society as it functions in a family ward are missing out on the universal nature--the brilliance and beauty--of this great organization. It isn't just that i've been in student wards for the last 3 years (and a singles branch before that) it is the wards and stake that i've been in. It's the leaders i've had and the leadership opportunities i've had because they understood their leadership. If i were married, i'd be a newly wed in a family ward--if i had a calling at all, it'd probably be in the primary, and i'd be losing my mind. (actually, it'd be in the Young Womens and the other leaders would be losing their minds) BUT
i see how much more i'm needed here. now, in the lives of these sisters.
and i count it a HUGe blessing (and mild annoyance) that there aren't really any "feasible dating options"
i have sisters to love, a great service to do, and amazing people to work with.
life is hard, but we can do hard things.
i was born to do impossible things.

25 October 2008

i have temporarily rearranged my blog

for the sake of music.

and sharing it.


21 October 2008

introspection -i swear i knew it all along

i actually just spelled sware wrong.

So, when life takes a tumble down a rough slope, your perspective is pretty much shot to-

well, i'm trying to keep my blog free of profanities...

at times like these it is positively sublime to have a friend in precisely the same position. Even more so when she calls you at exactly the moment you need her the most. Thanks, Heid's for telling me what i so badly needed to hear:

This period in my life is just a season. a healing season. living with my family and working is temporary, but a necessary time for healing and growth.
my fear was that i am stuck here, making life-sentence career and life choices.
not so
i've been critically over-concerned that by "coming back" to my hometown, i've forfeited opportunities to live other places with other people doing other exciting things i've always wanted to do.
this simply isn't true.

i am growing and learning--and healing ... somehow one crisis moment tends to unleash all of your life's traumatic moments...
most especially, and this one is very slippery to me, others are learning and benefiting from my being here.
I am a strong, capable, charismatic woman. I should have greater faith in myself to do whatever it is i choose to do. others do look to my example, and feel the love of their Savior through my intense joy in and love of His work.

and the time will come for me to move on to whatever is next--my Father in heaven is perfectly aware of my sense of adventure and my restless nature, and he has already put things in the works for me.
but until then, let go of worry and dive in with joy to the work before me.

I have perfect faith in me, in whatever i do.

20 October 2008

For we pay a price for everything we get or take in this world and although ambitions are well worth having, they are not to be cheaply won.

--Lucille Maud Montgomery

my matti bought this... shirt thing...
well, i bought one, too, so i'm not going to describe it.
In fact, it's pictured here

i found it on clearance for $3! admittedly, i had pined matti's, and every time i saw it on the rack, finally! i have one too!!


And then, i was cleaning my room (this also translates as unpacking), and i found my beads!! three strands of green-toned beads. i bought last march
because i like them
i put them on and had this instant and overwhelming desire to wear my towel-shirt-thing. the three strands of beads were a little overwhelming, so i wrapped one of them around my wrist.
it was a challenge to get it around one last time.

and i looked absolutely fabulous.

but then i realized that we were going to go to a spook alley for FHE, and that i would probably end up wearing my double hoodie over it. yeah, six inches of terry flounce sticking out from under hoodie-age. classy. this could mean only one thing.
a change of attire.

just one little hang-up

i can't get the beads off

18 October 2008

i do NOT understand life

or love

or pain

... that's all

moments in life

i have phenomenal hair.

maybe i should qualify that for the current arguement: i have out-of-this-world bed head!

that hair defies laws of gravity...



my hair could literally be pulled over for causing traffic jams and fender-benders.

people might even start putting their heads out the window to get this hair.

Sorry, folks. this is a wondersome coalescence of genetics, hair product, timing to perfection of showers and bedtime, carefully haphazard hairstyle, and the perfect sheets with the ideal thread count, twill weave and dye method.

This is one of those refining moments.

I have immutably unique hair.

and with those eyes... !

a mi, c'est perfect. c'est le goddess.

c'est i don't speak french...

back on point: this image is undeniably, singularily


if i do say so myself.

16 October 2008

i want one

may i keep her?

14 October 2008

i have two orange blankets

and my mother will be crowned tomorrow.

13 October 2008

I stand corrected.

a few people read my blog.

Sometimes in the morning i am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs i know i can't breath
And hope someone will save me this time
Your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
That god never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
Crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on you're really f***ing on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems f***ing cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absense
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
and you'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
You'll be be better and you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
You'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
You'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest you'll be brave
You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...

Rilo Kiley "better son or daughter"

If you can like that song in the good times and the bad
when you're on top of the world, or at the very bottom
of a bottomless pit,
Then you understand.

What is so wrong with what i want?
And what is the purpose of dreams
if they were never meant to happen?

on a less depressive note:

12 October 2008

I happen to know that i'm the only one who reads my blog

and i feel a little hateful, right now.

i hate bed time. I lay awake crying, wishing i would just--ready set--fall asleep. i also think about a certain someone and the overwhelming certainty that i will never be rid of the haunt in my head. eventually i realize that i have nothing to offer the world, that i have no friends within 10 miles (unless you count those ones that have families, fiances, and lives and incidently forget you exist). mmm, make that 300 miles.

i hate sundays. it is filled with a wretched epectation to have a great, spiritual day or else, but you better not expect anyone to be a part of that or to even want to spend time with you.

hate, hate, hate.

so there.

08 October 2008

a purge, a transition, another beginning

i hate packing. i'm not the most effective at it, and i am inexorably inefficient about unpacking. it generally takes me months for the latter. usually because i did the former in a matter of hours.

I've been home for... almost 4 months. I still have as many full boxes in the garage as when i first came back. Not completely my fault!
Over the last few years, my bedroom has become somewhat of an "organic" storage room. my parentals have a storage room where they keep food storage, holiday deco, etc.
but if they had a box of grandkid stuff, or maybe books... cleaned out a closet in an upstairs bedroom... a mattress...
THAT found its way to my room.

not to mention everything which i haven't thrown away over the years. Pack rat is in my RNA (i refuse to believe it's in my DNA). good thing that i believe we can change our DNA (so RNA is cake).

purge. I have thrown away so much in the last 4 months. take that on faith when you consider on the stash that remains in the garage.
i found a broken stereo, VCR, and various other electronics which someone ambitiously planned to fix. yeah right!! first things to go!

there were many more things, and
boxes of things that i had just felt the need to hold onto...
kept the boxes, though
my little sister took my book shelf, sturdy boxes are a handy substitute.

yesterday i unearthed two ends of the spectrum: stuff from HS--poetry, writingschtuff--and recent notes and spirtual-scholarly articles from BYU classes and church-calling-trappings. (a nice aside: i burned my HS journal. it really was not worth reading. having said that...)
hs, notes, printed articles--anything you can find in a book or online--took the dive into the garbage bag.

this process leaves my teeny room in a state of universal disaster. if i want to sleep in my bed that same night, i have to clean up and re-org mid-purge (like that happens)(HAH!!)
when i had a bigger room, i just tossed it all on the floor. now i use my bed because i do NOT HAVE floor space. it's a queen bed.

There's this idea that someday i will permanently move out of my parents house. I'm not leaving anything, and i am certainly not taking any boxes filled with things not important enough to even open the box. I'm not going to carry around baggage for the rest of my life!!


so. it's been an interesting journey. i can't just pick up a notebook and throw it away. however, something inside me becomes capable of throwing it away (pack rat RNA, remember) if i thumb through it, first.

THere is something else i've got to share. not that i didn't know this already, but - I am one smart cookie! REally! reading through papers and essays and what-came-to-me-when-i-was supposed-to-be-taking-notes*... brilliant!!

(yeah. i'm that, uh, 'confident.')
so there...

*which is actually more important that taking notes


yeah, lately i've been putting it all over everything! i never even used to even like it.

...ok, let me revise that statement. I put it all over everything but rabbit food. i didn't like it at all. until college. College student food somehow requires ranch.

A few years ago, at BYU-I, my little sister and i lived in a house together with about 9 other girls. Yeah, if the bathroom door handle would have worked, i could completely forget any other complaints i had about that sitch. the POINT

Kiki and i ate mozzarella sticks everyday for lunch... or second lunch... or basically every meal. i never would have even thought to put ranch on anything before that point but, because Kiki ate them with ranch, i started my tentative but steady relationship with that Hidden Valley wonder.

I started using ranch instead of mayo (or miracle whip, which is what i grew up on). i use it instead of sour cream--anything that must be nuked must have ranch

that being said, i almost never use the microwave.


my to-this-moment unspoken fixation with ranch pales in the palest way to my deep, deep devotion to cheese. Particularly cream cheese.

but that is a topic for another day

maybe even for an essay...

we'll see

30 September 2008

oooh baby

I generally take Jimmy around whenever i require means of transportation.

Tonight, however, i took the 'Burban.
I knew i loved those beasts!! lovelovelove


Jimmy: (as in a GMC)
bumpy ride
squeaky, clackity, rickety-rackity
no lumbar support
awkward seat position (for me)
NO way to be comfortable in those seats
sticky steering
decent junk space
still only seats 5

Burban: (also a GMC)
smooth, beauty ride
electical system hums a little
lumbar support
very natural driver position and seat shape--for me
easy, intuitive handling
plently of room to haul friends
or belongings
or both.

confession--i've always loved suburbans. i think i might live in one, someday. Many people find it hard to steer them, especially backing up-
not me. i find the suspension and turning radius very intuitive, like i don't even have to look when i'm backing. even into small spaces. like the ghetto booty i never had...

oh how i love suburbans! you sit up high, so you can see for miles, and over the tops of the stubby sedans and compacts in your way. Your V-8 roar intimidates even the flashy SUV's and no one dares remain in your way. *sigh* you uber-consume fuel but your towing and hauling capabilities cry out that you're worth every barrell. The sweet, sweet details of your interior suggest you were made to be in it for the long haul, and even the over-nighter.
alas! i miss bench seats